Category: Journal

Sometimes, when the lights go quiet,

When the noise is less bright,

And you find the stillness in yourself,

You can ponder about why it feels so good,

So good to just let go and surrender to feeling.

Sometimes it hurts,

The hurt can heal, embrace your ache

Sometimes, everything comes in time,

Falls in sync and you enjoy your moment

Please bear with me, my thoughts can be a little chaotically scattered from time to time. I usually write however it pops up in my mind.

Please grab some popcorn and enjoy reading.

Over the last years, most of my kinks are almost always boiling down to the same core: removal of choices.

I’m from before the label adhd, officially an “mbd child”, somewhere in the add-nos circles from autism I guess. I’m a functioning 49y old woman who’s always in the 🔛 mode. Waking up to pee at 2.30am? Gotta check that phone and respond where needed…

Anyways, choices are always followed by decisions.

And decisions cause stress, cause I never seem to take the correct one. (I know… Every decision is good the moment you take it… But imposter syndrome is also real).

I have a problem with letting others making decisions. If you’re not fast enough, I will make one instead. Very useful in team environments where your team is responsible for safety, less on interpersonal level. Also.. STRESS!

Submitting, surrendering, being a little is not easy for someone like me. It’s hard to stop the continuous being on.

But if I find the right person, call it a Big, Mommy, Uncle, who feels safe, it opens a door to carefully, slowly giving up some choices.

When you remove a choice from me, it also removes my need to make a decision.

Giving up (a) freedom becomes liberating.

I just have to do, to listen, to obey.

In return I get called a “Good Girl ✨”, which always makes me blush and a little proud of myself.

Looking at my kinks:

– parental controls: removing the choice of how long I use my phone, removing access to naughty stuff

– diapers: I do mostly wear them without wetting (I’m a budget baby), but will absolutely wet them when told to, when wearing.

– chastity: remove the choice/option to play with myself

– straitjackets/bondage: removing the choice to take care of myself, making me depend on my Caregiver.

Sadly I have to be a solo baby due to IRL…

Special note on diapers and wetting:

There might be more to me wearing and wanting to use them.

It’s difficult to fully understand all aspects of my feelings, but it might be that I have something called Biid/bid. As said: that’s a lot and complicated, but it probably boils down to that I would feel better/complete if I wear truly incontinent.

Here I am again…

I know it has been a while since I posted.

Unfortunately it didn’t really work out with the person I had a dynamic with, and I didn’t really feel up to posting here.

What changed?

Well.. a few weeks back I met a nice and wonderful woman.

We talked about some different things and gradually decided that it felt good for both of us.

So yes… I am now proud to announce that u/DommeDanielleKC is my Mommy/Big now.

Please direct any compliments on my behavior towards her.

(No complaints please, I am quite fond of my ability to sit on a chair pain free ^^)

Just found this Gem 💎